I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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