I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
