I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
