Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
