I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
