I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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