we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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