I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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