look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
