Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
