Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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