i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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