She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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