wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
