Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
