i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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