She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
