Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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