Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
