how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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