Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
