Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...