I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
