Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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