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• (440): View more from Ohio

  oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to

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• (510): View more from California

  The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

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• (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?

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