Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Randomize