she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
two words: eviction party
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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