i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
