...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
