We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
