he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
