Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
