He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
