ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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