:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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