that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
