Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
All I want is dick and wine.
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