I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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