Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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