I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
