I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
