Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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