Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
