so explain again why im purple
no
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He has the fingertips of a God
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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