My hand turned me down
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
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It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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