so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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