Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
