See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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