how can u be prego again
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
