Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize