I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
