You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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