Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
