My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
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