i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
So many bounce houses so little time
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
