Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
