Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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