you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
