trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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