I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
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