Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize