How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She even gives head with a lisp.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
