how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
