we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
