i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
