I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
