Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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