I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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