That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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