After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
