...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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